Mattel has announced that they are voluntarily recalling 9 million toys. MILLION! All of them are of Chinese manufacture and are being recalled for either containing small (indigestible) magnets or, get this, LEAD PAINT!

I'm Sarge, from the movie CARS, and I'm chocked full of LEAD PAINT!

How, in this is asbestos-free age of unleaded gasoline, is it possible that there is still leaded paint out and about, let alone being used in the production of children’s toys?!? Is the Chinese manufacturing conglomerate that afraid that we actually have Superman over here?

Nancy Nord, CPSC Chairman, is quoted in USA Today saying, “There is no excuse for lead to be found in toys entering this country,” Nord said. “It’s totally unacceptable and it needs to stop.” While I, as a parent of a child aged 2-12 years, whole-heartedly agree with Nancy, doesn’t this kinda fall into the DUH! category? Kinda like saying, “There is no excuse for children bonking themselves on the head with rubber mallets. It’s totally unacceptable and it needs to stop.”

The magnets part of the recall is actually worse than the lead paint, at least in a more immediate fashion. “What’s the big deal?” you say, “So Jimmy swalled a magnet, it’ll pass, right?” Well, yes. And probably without too much problem, too… as long as he only swallows ONE. But let’s say Jimmy decides he likes that first one and swallows a second – or only tells you he swallowed one. The second magnet can attach itself to the first, causing a larger foreign object in your child’s innards. This larger magnet can then cause perforations to Jimmy’s intestines as it passes through his system before he gets a chance to plop it out into your potty.

Okay – so here we are, with toys that have the potential to turn our offspring’s guts to swiss cheese while slowly poisoning their blood stream. Concerned? You should be.

  • For information regarding the magnet toy recall, call 888-597-6597
  • For info about the lead painted cars and such, call 800-916-4997
  • For a list of the recalled Mattel toys, visit their site here:

And today the China Toy Association is saying they new about the magnet problem back in March. March? This is frickin’ August, people! Why the hell didn’t they say anything almost 6 months ago?!? Bastards.

Needless to say, Mattel’s stock has dropped. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go and call BOTH numbers.